In the research Team that Julia Neumann and Gabriela held space some of the discoveries relate the Degenerative Map of Joy were: 

• If you express joy you are childish, suspicious, naive;
• If you express joy you are not professional, alienated, does not watch news in the newspaper;
• If you express joy people might react, it’s inappropriate, you offend someone;
• Humiliation, sarcasm, cinism;
• “You have to be happy, if it's too much tension, you can just be glad.”
• “Don’t be too much glad because something worse can happen, there is no place to joy;
• “It might be rude. I don't want to hurt them and devalidate their way of being and feeling in the world so I block my own feelings to save others first”;
• Using joy as a strategy to manipulate someone's smile, being nice and charismatic in a way of avoiding your other feelings and your Clarity;
• Too loud. Joy can not be noise. You might learned to use your anger to suppress it and close your body;
• Using joy as a passport to be accepted. This can come from when you were child and when you were joyful you were seen and loved and when you expressed any other feelings your parents were repressing, questioning or giving things to you so you stop being angry, scared or sad;
• “During the first four years of my life I was a very joyful child, so the story goes. Then my life changed and I felt mostly sad and scared. I kept being measured against my happy self afterwards and I noticed I felt anger for that and it did not help me to feel my authentic joy”;
• Avoiding feeling or expressing joy to not be “broken” by another person. “Researching I found a part of me that goes back to the darkness and protects it at all cost with an old decision of “You will not break me, ever. So I’ll not show you my joy”;
• “Don't show too much joy because then the other person will get me, might shut me down.i might get disappointed.”
• “Be cautious, don’t get too silly“;
• Feeling Joy to num other feelings " I should be grateful.. maybe do compassion meditation. Look around and acknowledge beautiful things of life”;
• Any feeling other than joy caused concern. 'My daughter is not well, I am to blame'. Not being cheerful is a sign of heaviness;
• In modern culture being happy is almost a synonym of being numb. How are you? I'm happy, I'm nice, everything it's ok.  

source

Your gremlin has clever ways of blackmailing, manipulating and convincing you to get distracted in this cycle so that you can avoid responsibility for your life and become a victim of not having enough possibilities to change. An example is your gremling taking a task, making it bigger than it is, adding layers and layers of complexity, until you have enough reason to be distracted: "oh, I'll just take a look at this message, then I'll finish this." That is the seed for procrastination.

Yesterday, after holding space for one person, I felt 70% joy. I watched the cells in my body vibrate, like when I take a bath in a waterfall. It was a small gap in which I was present with this feeling of contemplation and appreciation for the extraordinary and archetypal space that was created.

Soon after I observed the movement of my gremlin, almost as if taking this vibration from my cells and eating it and then I observed this pure joy turning into "how amazing, I transformed this person's life, I helped him transform, let's move on to the next task of the day. Transform more people". i noticing the adrenaline in my body, my heart started to beat faster

Most of the time when I say "I just feel glad" I've realized it's an immediate action from my box, like saying "hi, what's up?".

I noticed this when my partner sent me an audio sharing about the first space he was going to offer and I automatically wrote "I feel happy that he is going to create this space".

When I tried to say the information of joy this came out: "I feel joy because I have been following your journey to support spaces and I witnessed your shares of how terrifying this was for you. I celebrate this step towards something that used to be a resistance".

Wow, how much information filtered through my box.

I was in an etb training this weekend and I noticed when I first got there I was experiencing emotional joy. I was so excited about being in a new place and meeting new people that I couldn't access any other feeling. I navigated through a mini EHP about it and discovered it was tied to a memory of traveling on a trip with my mom at 5 years old. It was the joy of having one on one connection with her.

At this training while sharing a room with other women I noticed the gremlin joy in the evenings after all the sessions were over and we would come together and share about different fears of the day and then my gremlin would come in and make jokes and I was conscious about what I was doing and it was fun.

I keep noticing the intensity of my bubbly joy that is here also right now, excited about creating, with a slight tendency to be in the future, agitated, restless. I believe it is emotional joy.

I also notice my caution - fear - of feeling joy in the moment as things occur. For example, we put up a bell tent where I live yesterday. It was magical how that came about and how easily we put it up.

From what I recall, my fear was about breaking the tent when jumping around in joy; fear of the carelessness that often comes with joy. I sense how my parent ego sits there watching over my joy in those moments. I sense that this is partly so because what comes up is the child joy, rather than the adult joy. I see it in the others around me, and I feel scared of that. 

• Joy it’s your compass that indicates what excites you, what it’s nourishing to your bodies.
• I used the joy of cold wind on my warm body as well as the joy of stretching and re-agilitating my body. I guess those are feelings but have some proove for it being emotions since I have old stories about both of these things being en-joy-able.
• appeciation
• gratitude
• creation

yesterday I experienced do a kind of “spun” with wood and my hands. I could observe the feeling of joy flowing as I was discovering how to peal the wood, what the best way to use the knife, how to do the hole. I experienced joy as a fuel of discovery and exploration of doing something new. And as the another feelings, I just can feel if I’m present. When I was not present, I was numb and was the moment I broke the wood in the middle and I felt anger that brings me to the presence again. Then I started over and this was the result.

My joy handworking TPP project turned out to be a soap holder for the shower. I had the idea the other morning. So I got driftwood and pumice rock, a very soft airy stone from the volcanoes here where I live.

I started carving the stone and the driftwood yesterday and noticed how my joy was there only occasionally. I caught myself thinking I should finish it now. And so I stopped. I did not want it to be a chore.

This morning I returned to it and I feel joy at the creation.

I notice that I feel more joy carving wood than pumice.

For the last days I joined a chocolate maker visiting the producers of the chocolate beans he uses: An indigenous tribe living close to the Panama border in a reserve. With us was a mother who lost her 7 year old child when her house burned down two years ago.

It turned out to be a 3 day culture to culture experiment with a huge language barrier and high intensity fear on my side since I don‘t speak spanish (the Ngäbe only rarely speak english, mostly their own language and the language of their conquerors - spanish) and we slept in the jungle in wooden huts.

They cope with being pushed into this life far of the next city (aprox. 1h by car) with a humbleness. I did not receive any high intensity joy over the two days with different people. Something like an underlying joy of life though was in every move. I twice heard them say: „The spanish sent us here to die and look how good we survive!“

I felt resentment under sadness and something like an old „shock“ (as high intensity fear) that keeps them contained in surviving and not wanting to go anywhere from there.

I felt these joys (mixed and unmixed):

adrenalin of adventure

the joy of seeing sunrise and sunset

the joy of listening to the song of zicades

the joy of learning about another culture without wanting to show my culture

joy of cooking on fire

joy of harvesting food

adrenalin of searching for tracks of a jaguar in the jungle by night

joy of tropical rain

joy of roadtripping

joy of not understanding any word and being allowed to listen

joy of tasting strange food (there‘s fear and something else I can not name - maybe fear of disgust)

joy of meeting a „soulfriend“ - somebody who resonates a lot with what I notice and the conversation just keeps on rolling

joy of life working out without plan (going non-linear)

Yesterday we had a family meeting about this new kitchen codex, and my youngest who is 6 years old was there but playing off to the side , I assumed not really listening. This morning after breakfast though I found her doing this in the kitchen.

Yesterday while facilitating a PlayFight circle I discovered that conscious joy is a way of accessing the non-linearity of my gremling to make movements in space beyond my box. Conscious joy is the fuel for experimentation and non-linearity.

It was a group of 8 people, all psychologists, with highly intellectual and analytical cases. In a moment, between one exercise and another, many parallel conversations started to happen, trying to analyze all the experiences that were happening (it's just that in froid's theory.... and it started).

In that situation, in a usual way to facilitate I would pause and ask a question or ask you not to go pro mental, make an invitation to experience the physical body. However I felt like exploring "how to use my sword of clarity in a playful and playful way".

The moment I asked myself that question, between one exercise and another, I felt the joy grow in my body and I decided to use it by asking Raissa (my gremling): what game do you propose so that these people can experience reality not verbal.

She brought me something that my box completely fried. I decided to propose a non-verbal game in which from that moment on our communication would only be through the body, including me explaining the exercises. It was really fun the countless ways I could explore my body and how to land communication beyond words.

The shift that happened in space was incredible. People began to surrender to the exercises, they began to access their feelings. In the end, one of the discoveries we made as a group is that unconscious joy can be almost like a euphoria that disconnects us from ourselves and takes us to mind and agitation. One participant said "I found that I've been anesthetizing any and all feelings talking and talking, analyzing, thank you for proposing this game because I could access another dimension of what it is to be human"

I am researching the question: how joy and playfulness can empower my everyday life, What does the energy of conscious joy enable me

I also found that my parental ego state still has many judgments that "gremling is bad, it's wrong", "you can't use her, it's your dark world".

What I was able to experience and recognize in this experience is that I often do not experience ecstasy and do not allow myself to use the energy of joy to get out of the usualness of my box and access non-linearity (which is my gremling) due to the parental ego state .

And in this state of parental ego I found an emotional fear that I'm going to make a process, I feel afraid of using this joy as an inventiveness, of using this joy to access my gremling, and I get attention. Because when I "came attention" I was abused or only received praising